…and don’t it feel good!
I woke this morning to the sound of the birds singing, the sun shining and the skies bright blue. I don’t need much else it must be said to feel immediately ready to start my day, and yet walking out with my friend, I heard myself complaining about my city. I’ve been craving more nature around me lately – not just nature I can step out and walk in, but nature I can really LIVE in.
As I was speaking I was struck by my arrogance! How luxurious it is that I have choices. How wonderful that I live in a city and also have a nature reserve on my doorstep, that I have easily accessible places of great beauty, and the freedom through my life choices to really enjoy those places. So I put aside my complaints and listened, through my newly relocated to Manchester friend’s eyes and ears, her wonderment at all we have here. I heard her honour the rich diversity of community, the abundance of wonderful events and conscious connected people, the balance of nature with culture and activity, the f**king freedom! So many have people little or none of this in their lives, so many live in fear, or in war, or in subjugation….and I don’t!
So today I’m expressing and feeling fully, my gratitude. I’m thanking myself too for those wise and wonderful opportunities I’ve been gifted through my ancestry and grabbed hold of and embraced to create a fantastic life, the lessons I’ve learned, the things I’ve changed in those old ancestral patterns and the qualities I have taken from their struggles too – strength, resilience, steely determination. My ancestors were poor – really poor. Life was hard for them, but they found ways to change that, slowly and intentionally creating things for their children they didn’t have, and for their children’s children, until it came to me – and here, my ancestry was starting to change already. My grandmother had educated my mother and my aunt; that brought opportunity she had never had. My father worked his way out of his own poor background, again through resourcefulness and education, and the fact I can access all of this is down to them.
My life looks very different today to how it did a decade ago, twenty years ago even more so – none of my grandparents and both of my parents are alive now and there’s something very sobering about being the one at the front of the line. I honour them, all of them, who they were and who they were not, all of the distortions they faced to their true nature of love, all of the conditioning they could not break out of. I honour them because I have broken out of it, and so how could I do anything other than show them compassion and love. They were my greatest teachers and I am grateful for this moment in time when I can make my mark, create greatness for my own children and remember how lucky I am to have choices.
This is me in the middle of my parents! How sweet to find these old photographs that tell in part, our story. And how wonderful to find the courage to change the parts of those stories that don’t serve us too! Aho!